4 months and counting...

Luke was great at his 4 month check up!
16 lbs, 5 oz= 81%
25.5 inches= 80%
Head (I didn't get the measurement) but it's in the 95%

So, he's a healthy boy! We need to work on rolling over and pushing up on his arms. But hey- he has a lot of body weight to lift up!

My next move: Google search "asymmetric tonic reflex." Every time we go, Dr. McDonald says "OH, look- he's showing me the asymmetric tonic reflex! Every baby does it, but he's a little star! He does it so well!" She has said that at the last three visits. My response: "Oh...ha..ha.. ok.... (I feel dumb...should have gotten that medical degree) that's great!" Mental note: wikipedia...

Oh and he's a snorter. He has this constant, rattling snort. He's not congested, nothing is clogged or stuffed up- he just snorts. But it's cute.

And Monday he had to get the dreaded helmet. We got him a blue one this time. We now have one of each... pink and blue. Now we can have all the kids we want because we can appropriately reshape their heads in the coordinating gender colored helmet. :)

LUke

That's messed up!

Yes, those are the words my sweet little baby girl said to me this morning. She said them just as sweetly as she could. But she also used them in the correct context. I asked her to take off her jammie pants and put on her leggings (she's working on dressing herself!)

Her response to me: "Mommy, that's messed up!" But it wasn't snotty or rude. Just plain old messed up. Where does she get this stuff?

The First Day

Today was my first day back at work. I knew it was coming. I was so blessed to have so much time with my sweeties. I was out a total of 16 weeks. That's rare in my opinion so I'm thrilled to have had that long. And I'm so lucky to have a job, a good job, with benefits and great people to work with and don't forget-a fabulous discount. But at the same time, nothing could have made the first morning any easier.


Emily Grace is fine with me leaving. She's used to it and she gets to play with her buddies. When we walk her to the door it's like "see ya mom!" and she's off. She never even looks back unless I call her to the door to give me a kiss good-bye.


But little Luke broke my heart today, as expected. It started when he woke up this morning. He grinned and giggled like he had never done it before. I think it tickles him to know that he can be so happy. Or maybe he likes to see my eyes water... I don't know!


Then came time to put him in the car seat. When I picked him up he cooed and gave me the biggest smile I've ever seen from him. Why does he have to be so darn cute? So I pulled him back out to give him another cuddle and a kiss. And when I went to put him in the seat, he did it again. Dang it Luke- that was the longest process ever because I kept pulling him back to cuddle once more because he kept smiling and gurgling at me.


Then we got to day care. I love where we take the kids. I'd never pick anywhere else to send them. She is wonderful. But when I set him down in his carrier, his big blue eyes looked at me like "oh, there you are mommy!" and he smiled that heart-breaking smile. I picked him up to prepare to hand him over and he cooed and nestled his head on my chest. And then Luke looked at me with these big sparkly blue eyes and he was simply at peace. As I started to hand him over and walk away, his grin faded and you could see a little bit of panic combined wonder start to set in. I hate that part. I wish I didn’t have to do that. I can't explain to him where I have to go. Or rather, I can't explain to my heart why I have to do this. I really can't. I know he was fine today. I know it. I really do. But my tear-ducts aren't connected to that knowledge.


I got to work and everything was fine. Everyone was so glad to see me and they have all been so thoughtful and delicate and understanding of today. Honestly, I have such good friends here that it's like I never left. It really is ok. But I'm counting the minutes to 5pm. I'm so ready to have my little man back in my arms. And then tomorrow will be here too soon and I'll have to have another piece of my heart chipped off once again.

Halloween Cuties and Sunny Days

Can you guess our theme for Halloween this year?

Yes, Emily Grace was Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street, Luke was Cookie Monster and Kiwi was Elmo. Please take note of Emily Grace's Pink Converse- she was very proud of those!

The picture below of Luke on Chris' lap cracks me up!

Chris and I kept the theme and dressed as Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird the weekend before Halloween for our neighborhood block party. I was pretty proud of these costumes as well! (Yep, home-made!) And yes, that is a slimey the worm made out of pipe cleaners safety-pinned to Oscar's Shoulder. Chris was a good sport and even wore the Oscar trash can made out of a laundry basket and some silver tissue paper and spray paint. But, I forgot that Big Bird doesn't wear pearls- oh well. The best part was the feather duster tail and the striped tights. But, after I saw a picture of my thighs in horizontal stripes, I decided to crop the picture. You know what Big Bird's legs look like. :)

The blinged out kitty pumpkin didn't go with our sesame street garb but that's ok. We had fun making it. Thanks Aunt Kimi for the pumpkin bling!

Fall Fun at the Pumpkin Patch

Amazing Little Miracle

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Organized Chaos (aka 3-year old Soccer)

Emily Grace started soccer a few weeks ago and I'm just posting the pictures now. It was comical to say the least! She has a lot to learn but it was fun. She jumped away from the ball, stomped off of the field several times with her pink cleats and hair bow, cried when the bigger kids took the ball during the "game" (more like organized chaos) and then helped me hand out snacks to the rest of the kids when it was all over... always the little hostess!

Pink hair bow- CHECK
Pink Soccer Ball- CHECK
Pink Striped Adidas Cleats- CHECK!
You could spend a small fortune outfitting a toddler for sports! And sadly- none of this will fit next year- minus the hair bow... but she was so excited to dress up and play with her little buddy, Hayden, from pre-school!

They were supposed to be bunny hopping over the cones but most of the kids just ran in circles.


One of the mid-field temper-tantrums. Chris is trying to resolve the situation without drawing too much attention... poor Chris- he always gets that job while I hold the camera... :)

Whoops- another tantrum... I guess I thought they were prime photo memories and that's all I took pictures of- but she really did have fun!

The funniest part was the coaches. They must be high school kids because our naive poor little coach lined up the kids and then said this word for word:

"I'm going to kick you the ball and then I want you to stop it and dribble it back to me..."

Um "dribble?" Buddy- they're 3- let's start with NO HANDS! Of course he got blank stares and lost half of the kids attention... but really- they didn't even have a goal that they were playing towards- it was just a free for all- run and kick! They'll get the details later. If you've ever been to one of these toddler games, "organized chaos" is an understatement!

Enlarged Aorta (sort of)

You know how the Grinch's heart grew three times on Christmas Day and broke the little x-ray do-ma-jig that measured his heart size? Well, that's me. Not that my heart physically grew or is anatomically too big for my body... I don't have any medical issues with an enlarged aorta (thank heavens!). And, not that I'm a Grinch at all- but when I look at my kids, I feel my heart expanding so that it breaks that little x-ray thingy. I feel like it grows and grows with love at every smile Emily Grace flashes in my direction or every giggle that I can coax out of my little Luke. My eyes tear up and my heart just throbs with love for these kids.

A small piece of me worried that when Luke got here, my time, my attention and my love would have to be cut in half. But while time and attention do have to be shared, my love has doubled, or tripled or exponentially expanded! I wish I could hold both of them every hour of every day. I love them so much. I wanted to write this so that I could look back and remember the place that I am in now. I never want to forget this feeling! God is good and we are truly blessed!

Swaddle me this?

Emily Grace LOVED to be swaddled. She fought it a little at first but after a few tries, she wouldn't sleep without it. In fact, she slept through the night (8 hours!!) at 8 weeks. And I think most of that was due to the beloved swaddler.

So Little Luke HATES it. I keep trying. I had given up but after talking to a few moms after EGU's preschool the other day, I decided to give it another try.

Early this morning, 2:30-ish am to be exact, we woke up for yet another feeding for little man. I love our feedings but this every-three-hours-thing is for the birds! I love to hold him close and hear him gulp but I now realize how spoiled we were with EGU by not having to wake up all night. He'll be 6 weeks tomorrow and we are nowhere NEAR getting him to sleep through the night. Anyway, I tried swaddling him again. We woke up and both of his arms had come up out of the bottom pouch and under the wing/flaps that velcro him tight and were sort of free (at least up to the elbow). His paci was behind his back, digging into his skin of course, and he had wiggled down so much that his knees were bent in the pouch at the bottom and one of the swaddler wings was sort of wrapped across his HEAD (But still velcro'd tight)!

I won't swaddle him again tonight. That was just too scary. I know I'm doing it right- It's the same as what we did with EGU. I think he just fights it THAT much and wiggles like crazy until he semi-gets free.

Back to the drawing board and 3 am feedings...

NO ADULTS ALLOWED!

I've decided to boycott Chic-fil-A for a while. Well, the restaurant portion, not the drive-thru...Don't get me wrong- I love some nuggets and a big fat fountain coke zero! But after last week, it's a done deal.

Well, we're really boycotting any restaurant with a play place but Chic-fil-A was the only place that I let Emily Grace play in the play place until now. Of all of the restaurants, I felt it was the least-germy. I'm probably very wrong because other parents most likely feel the same and so more children are probably in there spreading more germs than in other plastic microbe incubators. Gah- talking about this makes me want a CLOROX WIPE!

I digress...

Anyway, twice last week Emily Grace got invited to play dates at Chic-fil-A. And twice we accepted. Both times I tried to sit out of view from the nasty germ-infested plastic paradise but alas, she is too smart. She knows where we are when we go there. She knows Chic-fil-A comes with chocolate milk and a slide. OH dear. So, I let her go play, waiting with the gallon of purell at my side.

So day 1- Tuesday: Long story short, she got to the top while I waited and watched anxiously from the safe side of the plexiglass of hygiene. Something happened, I have no idea what, but all of a sudden she was sitting on the top-most shelf, crying. Actually, she was bawling. Alligator tears were FLOWING down her sad, plump little cheeks. I couldn't get in there fast enough!!! Another mom, who invited us, was in there and helped me get to her. I don't even remember what happened. I feel like I was tossing little kids to the side in my attempt to get to her. But, we got her out, I bathed her in purell and she ate her ice cream and we went home (where I later boiled all of our clothes to combat the contamination that had seeped into the fibers).

Day 2- Wednesday: We went to the Natural Science Center with some friends and then headed to the dreaded Chic-fil-A. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy hearing "it's my pleasure ma'am!" every 3o seconds, but at this point, I was DREADING what was inevitably going to happen when the nuggets and chocolate milk ran out. The other moms delicately said "it really can't be that bad -surely that won't happen again!" Ok, sure, let's see how it goes. I'm laid back- let's give it another try. Afterall, the best way to get over a fear of heights (or germs) is to face it, right? WRONGO! She freaked again. She got to the top and you would have thought someone kicked her in the stomach! By the time I climbed through the tunnel of crud to reach my sweet little angel she was a wreck! But on my way up, some snotty-nosed little kid intercepted me- you know the kind- like Minkus from "Boy meets world..." He was the know-it-all who spits when he talks and has snot constantly pouring from his nose, that he wipes with the palm of his hand, that then touches EVERYTHING! So he sits on his knees, watching this drama unfold, seeing my dying rush to reach out to my child and says "HEY LADY! NO ADULTS ALLOWED!" My response should have been "KID! I COULD SIT ON YOU!" But, instead, I just said, "my little girl is crying and I need to get her down (PUNK!), so it's ok that I'm in here." Then the genius kid says in a mocking sort of voice "she should just go down the slide to get down!" Really smarty pants? That's how this thing works? I HAD NO IDEA! I couldn't believe that I was mentally arguing with a Minkus-like 6-year old. Really- who breeds and ends up with him??? I wanted to punch the snot right off of his face for getting between me and my Emmy! But he was what, 6? And I'm the adult here, so restraint was in order... But who lets their kid approach an adult with "HEY LADY!" Needless to say, I had a hard time fighting the urge to pour Purell all over his head like the slime from Nickelodeon! Little ratty germ terd! Wait, I'm the adult, scratch that last part... but notice that I didn't delete it. :)

So I finally reached my little Emmy Gu. Those sad little cheeks were once again covered in giant, flowing tears. I hugged my sweet little angel and we climbed down together. I told her that it was ok to be afraid but it would be a VERY long time before we went back to Chic-fil-a, at least the inside part where the slide was. She finally admitted it was scary in there and agreed that we didn't need to rush back. ((We'll never stop going to the drive-thru though!)) And One day, a long LONG time from now, we'll try it again. But for now, we need to work through her fear of heights and my fear of germs.

Back to clothes-boiling and the drive-thru line!

Sweet surprise

I inserted my photo card today and found these of Bailey and Kiwi with the kids. We miss her dearly. I hate being an adult some days. I hate what we had to do- but I'm so glad that it's done. Her pain and suffering are over. And I hate that our pain lives on. I hate to think that there are less responsible people walking this earth who would let a sweet animal suffer.

Anyway, these pictures were taken exactly one week before- before it happened. In the midst of everything, I forgot that I took them. She went downhill fast. Miss you old girl!

We had a picnic/ tea party outside- Bailey and Kiwi got chicken nuggets and hot dogs and a few cupcakes for dessert.

This was actually taken a few days earlier than the picnic photos

She sure was beautiful- Gosh I miss her. It brings tears to my eyes to see here here...

This was taken right after we found out she had cancer. We found out when Luke was exactly a week old, August 5. I'll never forget it. It was my original due date, Luke's one week birthday and Mom's birthday too.

The cancer took her fast. But, I'm glad she didn't suffer for very long. I know Emily Grace didn't understand what was happening but she knew that Bailey didn't feel good and needed her love. Funny how Bailey always watched over her, and here, at the innocent age of three, Emily Grace returned the favor as best she could.

What a sweet surprise to have those pop up on my computer today. The tears never stop flowing for our sweet girl but she knows they're tears of love.

I had a dream about her last week. I rarely dream any more but it was a good one. She was her old self, running and playing with her tongue hanging out. That goofy old tongue always was too big for her mouth. The dream is too much to explain but it helped. God was telling me that she's alright... she's with Him now and she's happy and at peace.

Who is who?

Preface:

In the wake of the loss of our beloved Bailey, it's hard to smile. I feel guilty for enjoying a day- for having fun with my kids and my sweet little Kiwi. But, I'm a mom first. Bailey was my baby but now the rest of the family needs me. I can't stop being a mom and a wife. I need to laugh- I need to enjoy the precious moments that God has given us. So, I'm not moving on from Bailey or forgetting her, I'm just savoring the amazing blessings before me.

With that said- I need to document, document, document before I forget the little things and get lost in this sea of sadness, joy, bottles, poop, crayons and tutu's...

WHO IS WHO?

Luke is already a month old. A WHOLE MONTH! Time sure does fly when they're so little... I wish it would slow down so that I could savor it a little more!

So many people have asked if Luke looks like Emily Grace when she was this age... Keep in mind that she was a whopper- a whole pound and an ounce heavier than him when she was born. So what do you think?
In the Hospital:

Luke in the Hospital

Emily Grace in the hospital (notice they both have that little popeye on the left side?)

ONE WEEK:

Luke at one week

Emily Grace at one week

TWO WEEKS:

Luke at Two Weeks

Emily Grace at two weeks

ONE MONTH:

Luke at One Month

Emily Grace just a little over One Month

Last one- and this is SO mean but it's more for a laugh than anything:
Luke Screaming

Emily Grace Screaming

Do you see any family resemblance?

A Tribute to the best dog in the world...

When Chris first moved to Greensboro, he didn't know a soul except the people he worked with. It takes a lot to move to a new city where you know nobody. But he had his trusty side-kick, Bailey. She was his pride and joy. He'd call me in Clemson and tell me about the new tricks she had learned or what trail they walked that day or about the ducks and geese that she so elegantly made scatter, squawking and honking furiously, from the local pond.

(Bailey ran all of the kids out of the baby pools at Emily Grace's first birthday party. She loves some water! Ivy encouraged her little girl, Riley to get back in- I think her exact words were "A little dog -water never hurt anybody!")

I will be eternally grateful to that dog for the companionship that she gave Chris during those first two years, and ever since.

She has been there for every important moment in our relationship. I got her for Chris (he picked her out) for his graduation gift from Clemson. She was our "Bargain Bailey." Her momma had gotten loose and had a little get-together with the gentle-dog down the street- luckily another pure bred Golden Retriever... but "Romeo's" owners never sent in his papers, nor did they ever get him fixed. So, the bargain pups arrived just in time for Chris to pick one out. We paid $75 for that old girl and it's the BEST money we've ever spent.

(All four of us, camping... in that one little tent. Fun night... but Bailey LOVED it!)

Her first night with us was at my parent's house. Since we weren't married yet, Chris was in the guest room on the pull-out sofa bed. But she didn't whine or whimper all night like another dog we know (uh hum... Kiwi), instead she got up and wanted to play... or so Chris thought. So what else is logical than to play with a brand new puppy on a bed? Nope, she wanted to use the facilities. Right there on his future in-laws guest room bed, she let out a whiz. Chris was so embarrassed but we all laughed; lesson learned... and by coincidence, the sofa got thrown out shortly there-after.

I never finished reading Marley and Me. I knew how it ended and it reminded me too much of our Bailey. I know now that I never will finish that book. The movie was hard enough to sit through. But that Marley has nothing on the hi jinx that our Bailey girl pulled.

(Last winter during the 8" snow storm, Emily Grace found it fun to throw ice chunks to Bailey. Bailey caught EVERY ONE.. and then ate them. )

(Bailey is such a good sport- even when we make her look like the Easter Bunny)

=

Once, right after we got married, she tricked me into thinking that Chris had stolen 16 rainbow confetti cupcakes in foil wrappers off of a plate and taken them to work. I called to fuss at him only to find out that he didn't take the cupcakes. "but the plate is CLEAN!" I shouted to Chris. "There isn't a crumb on it! Where on earth did all of those cupcakes go?" The answer was right around the corner, on her back, legs sprawled out, belly extremely bloated. Yep, she at them ALL and left NO evidence (including those foil wrappers) other than her rather swollen belly and the rainbow concoction that she proceeded to throw up in the yard.

(Our first Christmas picture- Bailey came with us to Boone to cut down our first tree)

She was so slick that she even stole Kimi's eggs right off of her plate while Kimi was sitting right there! Kimi turned left, Bailey snuck up from the right, took the eggs and hauled a$$ to the corner to CHOW DOWN. Kimi turned right one second too late and found that her entire Huddle House carton was empty. We've never laughed so hard!

She once ate an entire chocolate bar that Cole, Chris' roommate for a while in Greensboro before we got married, left sitting on the coffee table while he and Chris went out for dinner. Poor Cole was amazed and, I think, a little disappointed that his dessert was now in a dog's stomach.

(Roommate reunion- Chris, Bailey and Cole at Chris' 30th birthday)

And I remember a certain Christmas where Bailey stole an entire package of JUMBO bagels off of Don and Lisa's kitchen counter. That same night, Christmas Eve, while we were at church, Bailey stole a pack of hamburger buns for our sloppy joe's off of the same counter. You'd think we would have learned to clear the counters before we left the house. That dog LOVES bread products.

(Bailey with a spare hamburger bun- her guilty pleasure...)

I've only met this one dog who could turn an absolute anti-dog sorority girl into a dog lover. Jacqueline- we have renewed faith that those who don't like dogs, can! Jacqueline was not so much afraid of dogs but really just not a fan of dogs... until she met our Bailey. I don't know if she likes any other dogs now, or just our sweet Bailey-girl, but I'm so glad that bond was created. Thanks Jacq for being a friend to our golden girl.

There was a Clemson game too where Kate brought on of those frozen shrimp rings to the tail gate. Yes, Bailey came to every Clemson tailgate with us. And as we all sat, a tad tipsy, enjoying our shrimp, either Ashlee or Oberg noticed that Bailey, the smart girl that she is, was quietly lurking behind our tailgating chairs collecting and catching the shrimp tails as we threw them over our shoulders. By the time we realized it, she had probably eaten 30 shrimp tails! Talk about a stomach of STEEL!
Even as recent as about a month ago, our old girl was stealing food. Emily Grace was at Mimi and Papa's house and had a cereal bar in her hand. As most three-year-olds do, she was paying more attention to the tv than to her food and apparently Bailey walked right up and helped herself. The next thing Don and Lisa heard was Emily Grace exclaiming "BAILEY! THAT'S NOT NICE!" When they came to ask her what was wrong she just pointed to Bailey and said, "Bailey took my cereal bar..." Sorry kid- survival of the fittest. Bailey was on the hunt.

(Last Christmas- Bailey playing dres up with Emily Grace's new princess set)

(Bailey staring down Emily Grace's popsicle)

She loved to chase balls and hunt sticks. Don and Chris would take her hunting to Michigan every October. Poor Don- I really hoped he'd get to take her to Michigan one more time. I think (I know really) that he loved her as much as we do. One time Chris "caught" a deer (I don't like to say "killed") and as it hung for whatever reason they hang deer, Bailey came around the corner. She was so spooked by it that she hunched down low and growled that deep threatening growl and then whimpered and ran from it like a little chicken. She's such a goof! She was not really a hunting dog, but always a companion, willing to keep any bed or couch warm during the day for Chris. Chris tried to teach her to hunt but when the gun went off she shot away from him with her tail between her legs and hid under the truck. That's my kind of dog- I feel the same way about guns! And she always had a stick. Whether it was a limb from our back yard or the biggest tree limb she could find in Michigan or a piece of wood from a wood pile behind Don's garage, or just mulch from the front yard flower beds, she always had a stick of some sort. I often wondered what swallowing all of those splinters would do to her but it never seemed to phase her. She was that tough. And she was that much of a goof. One of those limbs in Michigan really gave her a run for her money. She was so proud and came prancing up to the camp with a good 6 foot limb to show to Don and Chris. The only thing was, it didn't clear all of the trees. I got a good laugh listening to that story from them. I can see her prancing proudly and then pondering how to fit this giant gem through such a narrow opening. Apparently she figured it out though. She turned her head with that giant stick and made it fit, so proud do show her daddy and Papa. God must know how much I'm going to miss her.

(Bailey with her giant stick- it had to be 6 ft long)

(Keeping the couch warm for Don, Chris and Uncle Jimmy at the deer camp during the day)

(Always by Chris' and Emily Grace's sides)

(Bailey loved the snow! She would sit and wait to go outside when it had snowed- she'd chomp at the flakes in the sky and tuck her butt and spurt off into the snow like a giddy little pup every time it snowed.)

(Our first wedding anniversary at our brand new house)

Even when she broke her paw chasing a tennis ball, she wouldn't quit. The bone was completely broken but instead of whimpering and going in the house to lick her wound, she brought the ball back, covered in slobber as usual, and begged for more. The only difference was that she was holding that one paw up just a bit. We had to make her quit-you could see in her eyes that it broke her heart to drop the ball and go inside but she did: always obeident and loyal. It wasn't until a few days later that we realized that bone was broken. Man, she is a good dog.

(Bailey chased Chris and Emily Grace on that sled about 30 times that day- they kept sledding and she kept running)
(Halloween 2008- Chris wouldn't let me get a giant ladybug costume for Bailey- but I would have!)

During both pregnanies, she abandonded her post at Chris' bedside and many nights slept by my side. She's always been "our dog" but in her head, I know she's truly been Chris' dog. It surprised me so much to see how loyal and protective she was of me. But she knew- I guess she sensed that something amazing was growing and might need some extra love or protection. And during those few fragile months of my pregnancies, I found her more often nearer me than usual. I couldn't ask for a more loyal friend. I'll never be able to explain what that protectiveness and love meant to me.

(Easter 2008- the before shot- Poor Chris had the job of getting the two goofy dogs and one kid to look at the camera)
(Amazingly, he did it!)

When we brought Emily Grace home I was so worried about Bailey's enormous 95- pound body next to such a tiny baby. But she knew. She was gentle and loving and as Emily Grace grew, Bailey stayed as gentle as ever. She let her pull her hair and climb on her and jump on her and sit on her. But that obedient old dog just let her go. Her eyes seemed to say "get this kid off of me... but not just yet, I'm kind of enjoying it..." When Emily Grace would cry, Bailey would either stand next to the crib waiting for someone to come find this fragile noisy thing, or she would come to the door and stare at us as if to say "mom- she needs you again." Her eyes were never mean- always gentle and full of love. She still has those gentle eyes, but they're a little sadder now. She can't come get me when Luke cries but I see her lift her head and look in his direction. I think she wants to go to him, she just can't. I think the desire to go to him hurts her as much as watching her in pain hurts us.

(The day we brought Emily Grace home from the hospital)



(This video is hilarious! It is true Bailey and Emily Grace interaction. Emily Grace is much gentler now but there was definately a learning curve on both parts... )

So, we're going to have to comfort Kiwi. She'll be lost without her Bailey. When we brought Kiwi home, Bailey had no idea what to do with such a tiny little squirt. Kiwi nestled right up to Bailey and while Bailey tolerated this fuzz ball's affections, you could tell she was quite worried about hurting her. Bailey seemed to rise up on her tippy toes because when ever she'd try to walk, Kiwi would do figure 8's between her legs. It was 95 pounds versus 2 pounds. She could have crushed Kiwi- but she didn't. She was our gentle giant. And it was funny to watch. Poor dog. I hate now that we laughed.

I also have to explain to Emily Grace that Bailey is going to be with Jesus. I can't seem to get the words out without crying. She's going to ask "where's my Bailey Dog?" That question is going to break my heart. I dread hearing those words.

And I regret that Luke will never know the most amazing animal God ever created. A boy should have a dog like her. I hate that he won't get his chance to know how lovely she was.

(This is one of the only pictures that we have with Luke AND Bailey- she's too weak now to take another good one. I'm so happy we have this to remember.)

And lastly, I dread looking into Chris' eyes when he brings her home to bury her tomorrow. She's his dog. Since the first day when she peed on his bed, she's been his dog. When he decided to ask me to marry him, she was there, by his side as loyal and loving as ever, proud to be a part of our moment. And now, he's staying by hers, until the sad end that is coming too quickly.

But, letting an animal suffer, letting a friend, my baby, be in pain like she is, is just cruel. We can't watch her struggle any longer.

So here's to the cupcake theif, the chocolate theif, the bagel theif, the egg theif, the shrimp tail lover, the stick hunter, the ball chaser, the best $75 money could buy. We love you old girl- we always will. You are worth more than your weight in GOLD. Our hearts are breaking to say good-bye but I truly believe that all dogs go to heaven. I know you will find the giant cupcake in the sky.

We will never stop loving you, Bailey.

November 16, 2001- August 30, 2010