Effort

It takes effort to get through life right now. Just this weekend, I ditched housework (like that was hard to do) to go to the park with the kids, along with Emily and baby Jack (who isn't such a baby any more!). It was a fun morning! And after that we went to Chic-fil-a for a very brief lunch and back to the house where the house work sat.. waiting for my arrival. And you know what? I'm NOT SORRY. Yes, Luke got an ear infection. But that's not from being outside. That's just him. I don't care- it was a fun day and I had to MAKE time to make it happen.

So I promised myself last week for the 9,458th time that I WAS going MAKE THE EFFORT to start jogging again. (My metabolism and the seams on my jeans are having a war right now with each other. One is trying to bust through the barriers while the other is trying to hold it all in!)

Plus, it's VERY important to me that both of our kids see their parents as active people. Chris has that nailed. He's an amazing role model. But for me, we are busy that I do not make exercise a priority. Side note- on the way to school this morning I saw some kids waiting for the bus on their very first day. ***And I was embarassed at my thoughts.*** How are this many kids so overweight? I don't mean that to be hurtful in any way. I know they're all extrodinary, WONDERFUL, amazing and beautiful children, but our society is not going to keep heart disease from creeping up on us at the age of 50 with the way we're going!

So, I'm pledging to start my 20 minute jogs again. I'm not going to commit to a number per week. I'm just going to try when I can. I'm going to make the effort. Life is not going to take over. I am.

Funny though; my friend Ashley and I were just talking because my last attempt went something like this:
Wake up an hour early because a 20 minute jog takes me that long!
Hit the snooze for 15 minutes.

Fix my mangled hair so that the neighbors don't think someone escaped from the asylum.

Brush my teeth because-well- I don't want to increase my carbon footprint by breathing through my mouth.

Find my shoes. 

Manage to get all the running gear on. (right, all three things)

Go back in the house for my wedding ring because it's part of me. And I'm that weird that way. I run in my ring and pearl earrings. What? Don't judge.

Go back again to drink some water because I don't want to get parched when I'm a mile from the house. And because I'm stalling.

Go back one more time because I need my iphone/headphones.

Then curse quietly to myself over the threshhold because opening the door that many times woke up the kids.

Argue with myself and say 'screw it' because I need to do this. Chris can deal with the kids for "20 minutes."

Feel guilty because they're in there crying and he's going to have a rotten morning by having to deal with that first thing.  (love and guilt are interchangable, apparently)

Then I give up and go back inside and hope for the best tomorrow.

 

Sigh. I'm tired.

Thankful

Today, as I've "struggled" over piddly things: what to buy, what not to buy so that I don't spend spend spend, where to eat lunch, what Emily Grace is going to wear for her first day of school, little things that bother me at daycare, big things that bother me at work, I've realized that my world is so so so perfect. None of that matters. None. Today, I stopped by my friend Ashley's desk, in the midst of the Friday afternoon do-nothings. I have lots to do at work AND at home, but I'm procrastinating and eagerly looking forward to one of the last do-nothing weekends we'll have in a while.

Ashley was reading her friend's blog. I don't know this family. And there are lots of them out there- families struggling to hold on to a loved one, families dealing with financial problems, families dealing with illness and death. I've sort of become numb to those families. Once upon a time, I got so caught up in their pain and suffering that I let it affect me too. So I went cold turkey. The result: I started worrying over the piddly things again. Why can't I just be thankful for what I have? And I am- I just let the harsh reminder of how amazingly blessed I am, slip sometimes.
This blog, this poor, innocent, sweet, STRONG, faithful family brings it all back to reality. I truly pray for, and hope for this family. And I'm so incredibly thankful for the people and things that I have AND the things that I do not have to struggle with. Thank you, Dear Father, for bringing me back to Earth.
The Matthews Monologues

Kindergarten Jitters

Here is my conversation with Emily Grace from this morning:

EG: mommy. I can’t go to school. (I'm thinking she means preschool, TODAY.) The man doesn’t know where I live. He needs to know where I live.

Me: WHAT MAN!?!?

EG: The man. He needs my address.

Me: DID YOU GIVE IT TO HIM? WHO IS HE? EG (we don't call her EG, I just type EG to make it shorter), this is very important. What man asked where you live? Why can’t you go to school? Has someone talked to you?

EG: um. (looking confused) he doesn’t know where to take me.

 

ME: EG. Please focus. Nobody except mommy and daddy should be taking you anywhere. Start at the beginning and tell me why you can’t go to school and then tell me about the man.

EG: The man on the bus. He doesn’t know where I live. So I can’t go to school because he can’t bring me home.

She was talking about riding a school bus (which won't be an issue anyway). I can’t explain the relieved sigh that came out of my lungs… Add another gray hair to my head.