Mommy, I miss you

Break my heart- these are the words Emily Grace says to me 200 times a day.

I was telling Dana about this and she laughed because she doesn't really mean "I miss you."

For example: Chris and I will be standing in the kitchen making dinner and she goes back and forth between us hugging our legs muttering "Mommy, I miss you." "Daddy, I miss you."

I've tried to explain that what she means is "I love you," or "I'm happy" or sometimes even "I'm sorry." But "I miss you" is what you say when somebody has gone away.

I don't let my mind stray to where the 'I miss you' is coming from. That breaks my heart to let my thoughts wander there. You working moms know what I mean. And those of you who used to work also know the heart strings that pull so easily.

So, that evening after telling Dana this story, I had to scold Emily Grace for smearing pizza sauce all over the table like finger paints instead of wiping her hands on a napkin. As she sat there starting to cry she said "Mommy- I miss you."

My heart stopped. I stopped wiping down the table scooped her up and said "I'm sorry bfor yelling. I love you." Her response: "Mommy- I miss you too."

4 months and counting...

Luke was great at his 4 month check up!
16 lbs, 5 oz= 81%
25.5 inches= 80%
Head (I didn't get the measurement) but it's in the 95%

So, he's a healthy boy! We need to work on rolling over and pushing up on his arms. But hey- he has a lot of body weight to lift up!

My next move: Google search "asymmetric tonic reflex." Every time we go, Dr. McDonald says "OH, look- he's showing me the asymmetric tonic reflex! Every baby does it, but he's a little star! He does it so well!" She has said that at the last three visits. My response: "Oh...ha..ha.. ok.... (I feel dumb...should have gotten that medical degree) that's great!" Mental note: wikipedia...

Oh and he's a snorter. He has this constant, rattling snort. He's not congested, nothing is clogged or stuffed up- he just snorts. But it's cute.

And Monday he had to get the dreaded helmet. We got him a blue one this time. We now have one of each... pink and blue. Now we can have all the kids we want because we can appropriately reshape their heads in the coordinating gender colored helmet. :)

LUke

That's messed up!

Yes, those are the words my sweet little baby girl said to me this morning. She said them just as sweetly as she could. But she also used them in the correct context. I asked her to take off her jammie pants and put on her leggings (she's working on dressing herself!)

Her response to me: "Mommy, that's messed up!" But it wasn't snotty or rude. Just plain old messed up. Where does she get this stuff?

The First Day

Today was my first day back at work. I knew it was coming. I was so blessed to have so much time with my sweeties. I was out a total of 16 weeks. That's rare in my opinion so I'm thrilled to have had that long. And I'm so lucky to have a job, a good job, with benefits and great people to work with and don't forget-a fabulous discount. But at the same time, nothing could have made the first morning any easier.


Emily Grace is fine with me leaving. She's used to it and she gets to play with her buddies. When we walk her to the door it's like "see ya mom!" and she's off. She never even looks back unless I call her to the door to give me a kiss good-bye.


But little Luke broke my heart today, as expected. It started when he woke up this morning. He grinned and giggled like he had never done it before. I think it tickles him to know that he can be so happy. Or maybe he likes to see my eyes water... I don't know!


Then came time to put him in the car seat. When I picked him up he cooed and gave me the biggest smile I've ever seen from him. Why does he have to be so darn cute? So I pulled him back out to give him another cuddle and a kiss. And when I went to put him in the seat, he did it again. Dang it Luke- that was the longest process ever because I kept pulling him back to cuddle once more because he kept smiling and gurgling at me.


Then we got to day care. I love where we take the kids. I'd never pick anywhere else to send them. She is wonderful. But when I set him down in his carrier, his big blue eyes looked at me like "oh, there you are mommy!" and he smiled that heart-breaking smile. I picked him up to prepare to hand him over and he cooed and nestled his head on my chest. And then Luke looked at me with these big sparkly blue eyes and he was simply at peace. As I started to hand him over and walk away, his grin faded and you could see a little bit of panic combined wonder start to set in. I hate that part. I wish I didn’t have to do that. I can't explain to him where I have to go. Or rather, I can't explain to my heart why I have to do this. I really can't. I know he was fine today. I know it. I really do. But my tear-ducts aren't connected to that knowledge.


I got to work and everything was fine. Everyone was so glad to see me and they have all been so thoughtful and delicate and understanding of today. Honestly, I have such good friends here that it's like I never left. It really is ok. But I'm counting the minutes to 5pm. I'm so ready to have my little man back in my arms. And then tomorrow will be here too soon and I'll have to have another piece of my heart chipped off once again.

Halloween Cuties and Sunny Days

Can you guess our theme for Halloween this year?

Yes, Emily Grace was Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street, Luke was Cookie Monster and Kiwi was Elmo. Please take note of Emily Grace's Pink Converse- she was very proud of those!

The picture below of Luke on Chris' lap cracks me up!

Chris and I kept the theme and dressed as Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird the weekend before Halloween for our neighborhood block party. I was pretty proud of these costumes as well! (Yep, home-made!) And yes, that is a slimey the worm made out of pipe cleaners safety-pinned to Oscar's Shoulder. Chris was a good sport and even wore the Oscar trash can made out of a laundry basket and some silver tissue paper and spray paint. But, I forgot that Big Bird doesn't wear pearls- oh well. The best part was the feather duster tail and the striped tights. But, after I saw a picture of my thighs in horizontal stripes, I decided to crop the picture. You know what Big Bird's legs look like. :)

The blinged out kitty pumpkin didn't go with our sesame street garb but that's ok. We had fun making it. Thanks Aunt Kimi for the pumpkin bling!

Fall Fun at the Pumpkin Patch